Doula Dad?

DOULA DAD? 

Can it be  such a thing? 

I am asked pretty often by Expecting fathers "Why do we need a doula"? I have to remind them there is more to being a doula than standing in the room. Having a doula present is invaluable. The misunderstanding is they believe the Nurse, Physician or Midwife will be able to help them in all situations. You have to understand if your not the only patient in labor their time is divided between all patients. The staff are really clinicians. Their goal is to make sure you and baby are healthy not to make sure your baby isn't sunnyside up, in a funky position that is stalling labor or your anxious about something.  As Your Doula we offer so much to the birth not just telling a mom to breath. Consider this for me. We offer comfort measures, affirming, we also assist mom during labor. We can pick up on if labor has changed course. We fight for a little time to allow your body to respond to changes made. Dad, this doesn't take away from your love and affection. We as doulas acknowledge it, value it and we tap into it when is necessary.

Dad, when you have a doula you have a team member. You know your wife better than anyone. The Doula will rely on this knowledge. We Doulas are their to support, encourage, advocate and create an environment that is best for you and your family as you welcome your little bundle of joy. You will not be left out; this will allow you to experience the birth instead of working during the birth. It can be hard work trying to remember did I give her water? Did she change positions? does baby like this position? What to do to offer her comfort?Why do they want to break her water? There is a lot more to being a doula than people know. We know how things are going while your beautiful wife is laboring. We know when to suggest she should get in to the shower etc.

Doulas do more than rub your feet and back. We don't just sit at your wife bed side. I make sure every Family has what is best. If your wife isn't comfortable with having an IV, If its not medically necessary I will  provide you all with the information to make sure she doesn't have the IV. You don't want to do your vaccine at hospital you would like your family physician to handle this, I am there to remind the staff of this plan. You want a delayed cord clamp. I am not caught in the moment I am their repeating "delayed cord clamp" until they acknowledge what I have said.  I am there to make sure you are able to benefit from ever right and joy in birth.

You should never have to be concern about anything. The Doula will make sure you are updated and informed when it is necessary. Why worry? Why not enjoy the best day of your life. Birth is an experience for you and your family enjoy it and allow the doula to support you.

Peaceful Birthing Doula is a company that Educate, Encourage, Serve and Support families in Labor, Birth and Postpartum recovery. Do not be concerned about a Doula taking a moment from you. Allow her to support you both. Enjoy and experience that you can never take back you Childs Birth.


Please do not hesitate to call or email me for any questions.

Tunisia Macklin,

Peaceful Birthing Doula

Educate, Encourage, Empower and Serving Women

http://www.peacefulbirthingdoula.com

peacefulbirthingdoula@gmail.com

(630)481-6079

www.peacefulbirthingdoula.com

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Groans of the laboring Woman

The Groans of the Laboring Woman

 

This couple was very focused and determined to have their Birth as natural as possible.  I thought they were so cute together. They reminded me of a couple you would see on TV. Dad was attentive to  Mom and her needs as well as being very concerned about how does this all work, preparing for Birth that is. We discuss what they may experience and some of things that may help. He was still curious so I showed Dad a video of a Birth. Dad looked, rubbed his face and shook his head in shock. I asked are you going to be ok? It was clear he was ready because he had to be. As Mom completed her birth team it was clear there was no question she is more than capable.

On this rainy day I received the call that I am having contractions." When should you come out"? I respond when you can not manage and your Husband can not keep you comfortable any more or you just want me there,  it is up to you. She says" okay, I am fine for now and I will call you when its time to come out". I didn't expect to hear from her anytime soon. The pattern as of lately has been the Mom's would call me when they are heading to the hospital. I was hoping I will have the pleasure of working with this family at home before heading out the hospital.

I wake up to a call the  next day. She saying "I think it is time for you to come out". I enter the house and was greeted by a sleepy and excited husband ready to meet his baby girl. He sent me to the bedroom where the Momma is laboring quietly.  We greet with a hug and get to work. I ask How do you feel? Where do you feel the contractions ? What has made you comfortable? We knew this day would come for this family.  It came 41.5 weeks later. It was so nice to know how we were starting.   

We start with something that was near and dear to this Momma. We quoted one of her scriptures Romans 8v18, I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Philippians 4v13, I can do this through him who gives me strength. Every contraction that washed over her caused her to groan. As we work on breathing she continue to groan and it took me to a scripture that was just below her original scripture. Romans 8v22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Romans 8v26 In the same way, the spirit helps us in our weakness. we do not know what we ought to pray for, but the spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. This helped calm her and to refocus. As I remind her labor is work. What are we doing this for? Reminding her this for her to meet her Baby Girl Z.

Mom appeared to be pretty fatigued. She mentioned that she hadn't had much rest since she had been labor some overnight. I advised her and Dad to nap. It was really clear Dad needed a nap as well. She became comfortable and laid down to rest and Dad looks at me and mentioned "I usually need to sleep in the other room when she snoring especially now she is laboring. I will not be able to sleep with her like this. I tell him just for a little while if it gets to bad go to the other room. I just think it will help her get comfortable if you are near. This Dad gave it a great effort. As I was in the next room I could her laboring attempting to do it quietly. Soon after I see the door open with Dad, his pillow and blanket heading to the next room. Ha!! I say go ahead you need your rest. Eventually, she wakes up after about an hour and we start moving around. Our little storm chaser was giving Mommy some back pain. We do hand and knees a few time and get her comfortable for as long as possible till Mom finally says I am ready to go to hospital. Looking at her face it look like she was up to something. Lol! I ask is it because you feel like its time or your just trying to go so you can be their for help (Epidural). This Mom looked at me like I just read her mind. No ma'am I been there it comes from experience. We continue to work on comfort. Eventually it is clear that we were going in soon. It was becoming more difficult to keep her comfortable. Baby was becoming eager to meet her Mom and Dad.  I called the Midwife and woke up Dad to start loading up the car. We will be heading out soon...

We started to go over affirming what she needed to hear. We prayed and claimed the things we wanted. No tearing, water will break on its own, minimal to no pushing and Baby will be healthy.

We get comfortable at the hospital, I get room atmosphere set with music of waterfalls, birds and beautiful music with some essential oils to calm her body. This Momma was relaxed until transition time. We head to the shower and focus on her low back. I could see the peace on her face knowing it was helping her back calm down. Baby Girl Z was making her way down to meet her family.  A little toilet time, hands and knees, squatting and side lying help make the journey for Baby Girl Z more of a reality. The Midwife comes in and we discuss how things are going and we realize things has progressed and we are about to meet baby Girl Z sooner than we thought. As the room transitions and Mom mentally prepare for the next task of helping her baby come out. Though there was much excitement there was still such a calm and peace in the space.

Mom uses the squat bar to push a little while I hold pictures of blooming flowers and playing relaxing music to keep her in a good mental space. Mom  then switches to hands and knees and assisting her baby girl come out we notice baby is crowning after just one push. I have Mom touch baby head and Dad was instructed to come around and catch his baby. The shock and surprise on his face was priceless. To see this first time dad gingerly hold his baby girl and hand her to her Mom like the most delicate and rare flower made tears form in my eyes. It was the most beautiful moment.

As Mom and Dad were coming down off the high I mention to Mom how her affirmation and prayer list manifested. Do you realize your water broke on its own, You did not tear and you only pushed 4 or 5 times and Baby made it in your arms safely and healthy? 

This was a perfect example of putting it in the atmosphere and not allowing someone else story to become yours. Who ever your source is ours is God... Know that your source is your strength and he will not leave your nor forsake you. This Mom was an example of the Sources being her strength.


Peaceful Birthing Doula
Educate, Encourage, Empower and Serving Women
http://www.peacefulbirthingdoula.com
peacefulbirthingdoula@gmail.com
(630)481-6079

www.peacefulbirthingdoula.com

www.facebook.com/peacefulbirthingdoula

www.twitter.com/peacefulbdoula

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This Mother's Prayers

 Mothers Prayer for the womb

Every woman feels this desire to have their womb filled at some point in life. Many say it’s your biological clock. We desire to marry the perfect man for us who will be this great companion and parenting team with you as you raise your beautiful baby. You get the husband and you adore him. Now your pregnant and it is all gravy from there so you think, right?

I connected with this Mom on a different level. It was so many similarities in our journey of conception and pregnancy. It was funny. In the birth community, you here many say every pregnant woman isn’t meant to be your client. I have been so blessed to meet my ideal Beautiful Momma. I was told If she doesn’t connect with you then she isn’t the client for you. As a doula, we give so much of ourselves during the time we are serving and supporting. Every momma doesn’t respect it or appreciate it. This Mom wasn’t just pregnant with a pulse she was one I surly connected with. I will never forget receiving  her email. It was so confident. I replied and knew this would be a family that would leave a mark.

I arrived for the first meeting at her home and it was like we met before. She was full of energy and laughter. I could tell this was a woman who was going to have a lot knowledge. She didn’t disappoint. We chat and immediately she displayed type A characteristics as her lovely friend who I also supported. These were the most fun and pleasant type A women I have ever met before.

This beautiful Momma was all about being prepared for everything.

ü  Conception

ü  Doppler

ü  Task list

ü  Scriptures

ü  Music for ever leg of the labor

ü  Make it past 12 weeks

ü  Midwife

ü  Doula

After explaining to this Beautiful Mommy to let go and let God breath and continue to do your normal scriptural meditations we knew we would work well together.

 Though this momma was reluctant to release some things we laughed and parted ways. I was glad to receive my updates on the progress she made after our meeting.

I finally had the pleasure to meet her husband the better half who was so cool and laid back. I have noticed a pattern of the Mommies I have supported. The husbands are always very mellow. This daddy was so cool, supportive and ready to keep Mommy on task by not becoming to tasked oriented. Our meeting was both informative and full of laughs. Mr. J made sure he assured me understood everything. He was funny as Mom and I are having a conversation about Birth plan, what relaxes her, how does she mentally prepare and what comfort measures she think will work for her. Dad find himself looking up peritoneal massage and all of the topics we discussed. I check in with Dad to make sure he understood everything. Dad says" if I don't get it I'll youtube it". "Everything is on youtube".  We collectively laugh. I also mention to him everything on the internet isn't correct. I head out and remind mom to relax and don't over think anything.

Momma had made it to 6 months and Mommy and baby had been going well. No complication for either. We met over the weekend and she filled me in on all her milestones and excitement about how she is feeling baby and getting mentally prepared.

While finishing up my final birth till August sleeping like a doula with no births anytime soon my phone rings and I hear a voice I wasn’t prepared for. “She is here with me and having contractions. I jump up and start to pray. I met them at Evanston Hospital. This family rallied quick. Everyone full of positive energy and prayers. This Beautiful Momma was blessing with a solid rock of a husband. Mr. K.J. was everything she needed and more in this time. Momma and baby make first milestone recovering from surgery. Baby is with NICU and Mom is recovering. After all the excitement and rush this Momma was in good spirits. I ensure her baby is in the best hands. She sends updates to employers, family and friend. I must stop her from sending updates. No computer, no phone till you are through the day. This Beautiful Momma is trying to focus her energy on something else other than worrying. We pray about peace, comfort, healing and staff sharp and keen response. I make sure family is ok and understand what is going on.

The family is so full of love of the Lord, positive energy and hope. This Baby Boy has a tone of people petitioning the Lord for miracles. To date Baby Boy J is reaching many milestones as Mom and Dad continue to grow in faith, love and relationship. Again, this family has such a special place in my heart. I will continue to petition the Lord for their strength as they continue to make many milestones.

Tunisia Macklin
Peaceful Birthing Doula
Educate, Encourage, Empower and Serving Women
http://www.peacefulbirthingdoula.com
peacefulbirthingdoula@gmail.com
(630)481-6079

www.peacefulbirthingdoula.com

www.facebook.com/peacefulbirthingdoula

www.twitter.com/peacefulbdoula

www.instagram.com/peacefulbdoula

#prayingforKJ 
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